|Posted by [email protected] on June 11, 2014 at 7:50 PM|
I've truly longed to be used in a healing and deliverance ministry, for years. So much so, I walked away from every aspect of mainstream medicine over thirteen years ago. I've made no doctor's appointments, filled no prescriptions, purchased no OTC drugs, did not even take a trip to the ER when bones were obviously broken. The latter has happened four times in these 13 years. I take Exodus 15:26 very literally, and I can also attest to the fact, I was clearly operating outside of the will of Abba when the broken bones occurred. I didn't realize it at the time, as it wasn't intentional disobedience, but rather had obligated myself in the traditional religious teachings of our society. Every broken bone has served as a wake-up call! I was still letting go and laying down "what I thought I knew."
I've asked Adonai why we don't see the healings and deliverances recorded in Scripture. His answer was simple and to the point. He said we've placed our faith in medicine, psychology, and religious opinion; rather than in He and His Son. I asked, since I had repented of medicine and psychological counsel, why He wasn't using me? He then informed me, if I wanted to see Him do more, I needed to share what He'd already done! Having written, "Wilt Thou Be Made Whole?" and "Can We All Be Wrong?" I truly thought I'd done done that, but He's since shown me, my testimony needs to be shared on a more personal level. That's when I went to the third person idea, but . . . to be honest, I feared that could actually cause me to forfeit the healing I'd been given.
Giving all glory to Abba, I haven't had a broken bone since writing "Wilt Thou Be Made Whole?," but it does seem my MS symptoms have worsened. I knew in my spirit, though; it wasn't an attack of the enemy. Years ago when I'd asked for healing regarding the MS . . . several times I asked, I always received the same answer, which is found in II Corinthians 12:9. " . . . My grace is sufficient for thee . . ."
In writing "Wilt Tou Be Made Whole?", I included the possibility that many of our physical illnesses are in fact a manifestation of spiritual issues. I hadn't realized until just recently that although His grace has been sufficient, the testimony of my mental health is paramount to moving forward in the ministry to which He has called me and the desire He has placed in my heart. Many people suffer from what society has labeled, mental health issues, who are either afraid to talk about it, or have settled for medicated management. I've been hesitant to discuss my past mental health, because in a society that considers itself quite advanced in psychiatry, psychology, Christian psychology, social work, and counseling of all sorts; the stigma of a past label remains, even amongst the so called experts. I took a Bible study into a state mental health facility for several years, and although those professionals made very good money in thier career, they openly admitted there was no healing. I know otherwise, and I want to share that with others who struggle.
Depending upon beliefs and denomination, mental health tends to fall into two basic religious categories to be addressed. Some believe it is actually an illness while others believe it to be demonic. Regardless of the root cause, YHWH is greater and undoubtedly a struggle with mental health is definitely, bondage. Consider for moment, the children of Israel. Their deliverance was from slavery, not demons. Their plight in Egypt was called bondage, so I'm asking you to set aside religious or secular labels, and especially the combination of the two. I lived many years a slave to social expectations, and in bondage of family rejection. The darkness is my life wasn't demonic possession, but fragmented awareness. I've included a diagram, but I would say a simpler explanation is one of confusion between the secret truth of reality and the social appearance, required.
By the age of four, I knew from playing with cousins and neighbor kids, there was a difference between home life and "social" life, but I assumed everyone lived that same way. I didn't know their lives connected without divisions. I lived in a home in which I was taught that any omission of the entire account was considered dishonest, and the truth, the whole truth; was an absolutely requirement, yet . . . there were many things that were not to be told. I didn't come from a broken home. I came from a home that broke me.